Dear Diary
by WastingWishes
Summary: [AU] SasuSaku. Her eyes remind him of the sour apples he used to eat as a kid.


**_Dear Diary_  
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_One-Shot_

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_(_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.)

**A/N:** Please tell me what you think. This story tugs at my heart-strings a little.

* * *

**Sakura's Diary**

You looked at me today and I could swear I felt the heart inside of me ceased beating for two long seconds. It was those eyes, so inky and depthless, I could swim in them all day if you permitted it. My manager told me to stop lingering around the counter and to serve you; I tried talking him out of it. No way, there was no way I could form a coherent sentence around you. But he gave me flying daggers for a glare, and because I'm living on minimum wage and trying to pay off these student loans, I just have to swallow this dry lump in my throat and get a move on.

I asked if you knew what you wanted, and you said yes. You told me you wanted your coffee black with no sugar. Suddenly I compared the color of those eyes to a brewing cup of dark liquid; the intensity of its color to the rich layers. When you finished I took the menu away,

I always wondered why you came here alone, hunched over with your headphones flooding your ears with music. Was this a place you escape to from reality? Maybe I'm starting to assume too much. Maybe you just really like the coffee here and the tomato broth you often ask for. I can only assume you like tomatoes.

Ino asked me if I wanted help serving you, she knows how clumsy I am at times and because she thinks you're really cute. I almost gave in and said yes, but I figured it's time I face you and perhaps get to know you a little bit more.

Once you got what you wanted you muttered a thank you (note: I always wanted to hear what your voice really sounded like) and returned to the little notebook you had on the table. Perhaps I was staring at it and you took it away, hiding it like it treasured something valuable. I felt really embarrassed then and thought to myself that maybe you were not lonely; you just did not prefer to have company at all.

I went back home, it was a chilly autumn but my loft was a few blocks down the cafe so the walk was not completely unbearable. I don't generally like cold weather because it makes my skin feel scaly and dry, I try to avoid being outside at all cost unless absolutely need be.

Well, I guess today was not very eventful at all. Tomorrow might be a little different, who knows. Not much has happened so I'm going to stop here and watch a little television before going to bed. Nighty night!

* * *

**Sasuke's Diary**

I had another fight with that bastard again so I did what I always do; I went over to the local cafe down the block. It isn't anything special but I like the atmosphere; it's very mellow and less troublesome than that overly hyped Starbucks bullshit. I'll never understand the hype, it's always just a large cup of ice to a pathetic ratio of coffee.

And, there is that peculiar waitress with the pink hair that keeps on staring at me. I probably should not be too surprised, I have had unwanted attention practically my entire life, but she is the first to have never spoken to me before. It is better that way, I guess.

I sat in my usual spot, the tattered blue couch in the corner. I liked this spot because I could see everything and it was fairly secluded; but that mattered not because this place was never busy anyway. Tonight was colder than usual and they ran out of their special tomato soup. I'll survive.

I got my coffee the way I like it, plain and bitter. It is, after all, the way coffee should be taken. Why the excessive sugary frappucino crap? I will never understand. But then again, we live in a world full of mindless drones who would buy anything the media tries to sell them. We are the consumers after all, aren't we? We will buy until our last dying breath; in which case we would probably spend the dying money on useless medicine.

Sorry, I'm just in a caustic mood today. I also noticed that the pink-haired waitress had her hair in a messy top knot instead of her usual ponytail. She had bags under her eyes as if she stayed up all night working on something. I must have stared at her for too long because her face flushed in a crimson color, I pretended to busy myself with this journal to avoid any conversation. The waitress was no longer lingering by. This was okay to me.

What an asshole he is, that man who calls himself my father. He favors Itachi over me anyways, so why does he always take out his anger on me? I've always hated his drunken ass. Once I am done with this degree, I swear to god, I will find my own place to live in. I will miss mother though, she has always been so lovely to me. She deserves better than that piece of shit she's married to. Good people deserve better, that is why they're always misunderstood, because life is generally unfair. Perhaps if life was good then alcohol won't be discovered; why else would anyone want to forget and drown their sorrows?

I am rambling again. My coffee has gone cold and the place is closing, the last of customers are paying their bill, wrapping themselves up with scarves and gloves before leaving. I don't know where to go but I will find a way; maybe Naruto might be ok with me staying over for the night. I hate asking for favors.

Sorry mother. I will give you a call. I love you.

* * *

**Sakura's Diary**

It rained today. Everything was grey and colorless it felt so dismal. I slept late again finishing up the last of my two novels for class was not easy but nevertheless still enjoyable. God, I can feel my eyes popping out of my sockets. I need some caffeine.

I don't know what to do on weekends. I usually work but I had called in sick today, I just couldn't find the energy in me to serve others. (note to self: need more hours of sleep, zombies look more youthful than I do.) I gave Ino a call and she told me we should see the sequel to this action-packed movie about ninjas running around trying to save the world. Was it ridiculous? Yes, very. But was it enjoyable? So-so. It was the popcorn I looked forward to and the company of many strangers around me.

I like movies. I like that a bunch of strangers just decide to conglomerate into a large room and just sit in silence as we all experience another world together. Maybe it's the sense of togetherness but also the quietness that attracts me to movies. Many would disagree, but I think it's an intimate feeling of a sort.

Ino generally likes the cinema because of the surround sound system, that materialistic pig. (jk, I love her.)

Today I wore my much-loved grey sweats and a tattered white shirt. I call this day _Sakura's day of lazy_ because that is what it was, a day pure of lying around being useless to society. And plus, it was raining, what good could I possibly do to contribute to this world? Nothing, nada, absolutely nil. At least that's what I tell myself from feeling guilty. In my defense though, I did leave the house once…that must count for something.

I thought of that boy again today. How does one miss someone they don't even know? It was weird. But I really like his hair. Yeah, I've been thinking about his hair. It's sort of frazzled and all over the place but it was so shiny and healthy-looking. It is like he dipped his head in a pot of ink and it hardened to a glistening lacquer. Sometimes I notice that when he sits down to write, or change a song on his phone, some bits of it frame his chiseled face. Kind of like a really sheer dark curtain. I wonder sometimes how a person can look so beautiful.

I also wondered if he would ever look at me the same way, but that is just me being corny and stupid. Stupid Sakura, that's my name. I should probably just change it legally to Haruno , or something like that. Ok I should stop.

It is lonely living alone but I like it. I find comfort in my books and my simple mattress drowning in feather duvets. This loft has been with me for years, it knows too many secrets. This is why it must stay with me.

Maybe I will end up alone–who knows. A few cats might be a good idea.

* * *

**Sasuke's Diary**

That useless dobe decided to watch his favorite trilogy about the ninja bullshit. And since he was smart enough to let me stay over his little room, I consented to this outing. I hate the cinema. Paying eight bucks to watch something on the big screen? No thank you, I rather stream it on my laptop.

It was an enjoyable movie nonetheless. And I'm glad Naruto wasn't stupid enough to do something outdoors today; the weather was terrible. It was raining. _Rain. _That means I had to go through the extra effort of finding something to keep me warm and dry.

I thought I saw that pink-haired waitress waiting in line today. She was with another blonde girl (I think she also worked at that cafe, I'm not too sure.) She was wearing a light beige coat and her hair was damp from rain. I must admit though, she looked…different. Perhaps it's because I was so used to seeing her in that uniform. Now she just looked, like everyone else, except with pink hair. I wonder if it's natural.

The dobe wanted nachos (he also snuck in a pot of ready-made ramen, that idiot) I just went for a trusty cup of pepsi. You can never go wrong with pepsi. The movie was alright, nothing too spectacular, I especially liked the half man half snake character they had; that was entertaining.

We decided to go grab a bite before we went back to Naruto's dorm. Just a casual burger, nothing fancy, I did not have a lot to spend; all of my savings I forgot to bring with me. It wasn't a bad time chilling with the buffoon, he's the only person I don't mind spilling ramen soup on my jeans. The universe must have pulled off a nice little prank and paired me with the most obnoxious friend I could ever have, and that I could ever tolerate.

While we ate we started discussing about the movie. We talked about what we like, what he was disappointed in, what I wished had happened. Then he asked me if I had spoken to that bastard yet. _No_, I replied, _I don't think I plan to either. _

"But, teme, what about your mother? Isn't she worried?" asked Naruto.

I tapped my foot and gazed out his dusty windows. I thought of mother pacing back and forth at home waiting for me to return, her eyes sleepless and without vigor. Then I thought of Itachi and father drinking sake together, laughing without mirth, probably talking about what a useless git of a son he has. Suddenly I didn't feel so guilty anymore.

Naruto waited for a reply but I shrugged it off. "She will be okay."

He understood that I no longer wanted to speak about my issues (if you could even call it that.) Without another word he took his gaming console from under his bed and plugged it in. This was a thing we do whenever any of us were tensed; we would just waste the night away fighting demons on screen.

I guess this was why he was my friend because he understands the value of silence.

* * *

**Sakura's Diary **

Sorry for not keeping you up to date. I've been very busy these past few weeks. Recently I just got employed to another part time job, I need the cash to keep me afloat. Times are hard these days, the economy is just collapsing into a hell-hole.

I have a lot to tell you, though, I've finally mustered the courage to speak to him. Sasuke, his name was, and he was an Uchiha. When I got off my shift at 8 PM and after having cleared off all the mugs and dirty plates, I sat next to him and introduced myself. He had that same notebook he brings with himself all the time but I never thought anything of it.

There were moments of absolute silence that made me nervous because I always feel responsible to fill it. He seems ok with being quiet, though, always tapping his fingers on the edge of the table. The headphones hung from around his neck and I could hear a dull thumping coming from it. I remember the conversation so crystal clear (how does one forget something like that? I don't think I'll ever forget, if I'm being honest) so I'm going to write them down as it happened;

"I see you come here often," I started, my voice shook a little.

He nodded but made no reply. I guess he didn't find it worth elaborating, which was understandable.

"What do you do?"

He blinked. "What do you mean by that?"

"Are you working or…?"

"College."

"Me too."

Point being, Sasuke was not a man of words. There was none of him asking me questions or wondering what type of person I was. Simply put, he was not interested to know. So that moment I got up, shrugged my coat on and told him the store was closing. I switched off the lights, flipped the _CLOSED_ sign and locked the door. I remembered crying because the howling wind made my face feel extraordinarily cold. I had been rejected.

I will tell you now why this mattered. For months I taught myself to never feel insufficient, no matter what. I've had rejection slips mailed to me from college, job and every other of my applications. It is never pleasant to be considered then still not being what they want. I learned that failure is a vehicle, it will either drive you from one point to another or crash and burn; eventually destroying you.

But I didn't want to be defeated; not now, not ever. If hitting bottom ground is where I should be starting my life then so be it. Here's the problem though, failure in your career is one thing, and rejection from a human being stings much, much more.

Consider this; your body is the container in which your soul uses to fulfill its wishes. You are a walking storybook. Every scar, wrinkle and pits in your skin tells of a time or of an experience. You are a constant creation, a magnet that attracts all sorts of emotions to build you over time. So for a person to look at you inspected your being from head to toe and decided that you are not worth their time; now _that_ is true rejection.

Ino was worried. She wanted to help me as best as she could. It has always been her coming to the rescue; my early years of being bullied were overcome because she taught me what it was to believe in oneself. But this time, I don't think she can or could do much. I have been worked to a pulp. _He's just a self-righteous asshole,_ she told me through the phone, _I bet he thinks so highly of himself that he'll just end up alone in this pathetic world._ I thanked her for trying to comfort me but I needed to be on my own for now; she blew me friendly kisses then hung up.

You see…I don't want him to end up alone. It wasn't like I wanted us to start dating or anything (that would be nice but I would be dreaming) I just wanted to know what kind of person he was, what he likes and dislikes. I wanted to read his story. I wanted to know why he was always alone in a place like this.

I know I said that many things has happened, but just writing about the first encounter got me rather upset. I will update you some other time; I've been craving that cookie dough ice cream for a while now. See ya.

* * *

**Sasuke's Diary**

I saw her again today. It has been a couple of weeks, I suppose, since our awkward encounter. That obnoxious Naruto found out about it somehow (okay, it might have slipped from me, but god knows how on earth that happened) and told me I was never really good at making friends and I should try again when I see her. He then continued to munch on those despicable BBQ chips and making a mess on his carpet. Tch.

Truth is though; I never know what to say. It's not that I'm a person of limited vocabulary, I just…Well, maybe I am after all. I will tell you how it went. Maybe she thought of it differently, who knows, but I suppose it is worth reliving.

It was late, maybe half past seven or so (not too sure but the store was closing, it must have been around that time) and it was just me and that pink-haired waitress left (her name is Sakura, she tells me, I remember because her hair is the pink of cherry blossoms. It suits her, I think.)

As she finished the last of her shift, she took her apron off and sat opposite me. I must have been writing because I hadn't notice until I heard her say _hi_.

"I see you come here often," said Sakura with a smile. I never realized how green her eyes were; such a peculiar color combination this woman, but it worked. They reminded me of those sour apples I used to eat as a kid.

I must have been staring at her for too long but her eyes fascinated me. So I nodded and looked away lest she thinks that I'm a freak. She twiddled with her fingers (they were long, maybe she plays the piano?) and I tapped mine against the table, figuring out what to say next.

"So what do you do?" asked Sakura. What do I do? I don't know. I run away from home. I get beaten up by my drunken dad. I hardly go to campus and I spend majority of my time with an obnoxious buffoon who eats too much ramen. I'm unemployed. What do I say? What _do_ I do?

I raised a questioning brow. "Um, what do you mean?"

Perhaps my manner might have offended her because her eyes widened a fraction.

She stuttered. "I mean do you work or…?"

I had nothing interesting to offer but I tried, I was rattling my brain for some decent answer. Would I want to tell this stranger the truth, that I do nothing substantial? Or do I try to offer some fabricated truth so that she might still consider me human and un-pathetic?

"College." I replied.

There was a lingering silence between us. She looked uncomfortable, tucking in a strand of hair behind her right ear. I waited for her to ask me another question but she was staring at a spot on the floor. Maybe it was my turn to say something. Maybe I should ask if she wanted to have a drink with me sometimes. But before I could say a word she got up and swept up the floor, grabbing her coat then told me _this place is closing up now, sorry._ I really did fuck up didn't I.

So I grabbed my things. I lingered around the corner to see if I could strike the next conversation, but that would be too troublesome. The lights went off and she locked the door, walking away with her arm shielding her face. All I could see was the muted pink of her hair from this distance and the cream bag dangling from her shoulder.

Today I saw her browsing around the grocery store. On her head was a messy bunch of pink hair in a wild knot, a tattered white shirt with grey pants. Truth is, I wanted to say hello, I walked over to the aisle she was in but she disappeared. Maybe next time.

(P/S: I don't know why I keep thinking of her now.)

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_.-.A couple of months later.-._

**Sakura's Diary**

Dear god, thank you. Thank you, thank you, _thank you_ for the amazing day. He was most beautiful in his blue polo and dark denims. I saw him waiting outside and I couldn't help a smile; I swear, it's like the muscles in my face have a life on its own, it does this funny thing with my lips where I'm smiling all the time when I'm around him. God, I think he's perfect, he even smells good, like a mix of dark roasted coffee with a hint of cologne.

We went to visit this new outlet mall today, they even had markets that sold a variety of things ranging from delicious delicacies (fried churros _is_ a delicacy to me) to little knick-knacks. The day was so hot I almost regretted not wearing my favorite sundress. Sasuke told me once how he liked the look of it on me.

We ate ice-cream together and he told me stories of his childhood. I listened intently because they were so enchanting. Did you know they once lived on a farm? Those were happy times and I could tell; there was a glow to his eyes whenever he spoke of it. Oh, God, I wanted to capture every moment of it. You have no idea how beautiful he is when he is happy.

I have to go, Sasuke is at the door, we're having a movie night in today. If I'm lucky, special things will happen tonight, if you know what I mean (wink wink)

* * *

_.-.A couple of months later.-._

**Sasuke's Diary**

I love her. There is nothing else that I could say. I love the way her hair sprawls around the pillow beneath me. I love the way her eyes twinkle when we wake up together. In a few days would be our anniversary. One whole year she has listened to me, kept me company, and (dare I say) tolerated me.

Nothing bothers me anymore. All I know is that I want to be with her, forever.

I might even give her this book (but it might be too personal, we will see what happens.)

She's coming out of the shower now. I'll have to go.

* * *

_.-.A couple of months later.-._

**Sakura's Diary**

We are falling apart. He would not talk to me. I see a couple of bruises around his face and it makes me want to cry; why would anyone hurt my Sasuke. _Why._ And when I ask him he would push me away.

He told me about his father. I am aware of the power he has over Sasuke. I know he loves his father but he won't ever admit it to me. He feels belittled, but God I want to tell him how much more he was. I wanted to find a mirror that would reflect the very essence of him. I love him. Please. I just don't want him hurt.

It has been a couple of weeks and our relationship has been fragile. None of us speak to the other. He doesn't hold my hand when we walk like he used to. He doesn't look at me the way he used to. We are always fighting and sometimes it gets physical. Sometimes I suspect he has been out drinking. I think he might even have a problem with it. One night he came back home drunk and I told him he was starting to be like his father. I had never seen that kind of madness and anger from his eyes; he grabbed my throat and pinned me against the wall.

I fear that he might not love me anymore.

* * *

**Sasuke's Diary**

I cannot hurt her anymore. I'm sorry, Sakura.

* * *

**Sakura's Diary**

He left me. The light of my life has gone away. I feel my ribcage shattering, the edges puncturing every organ inside. This is a pain I never felt before. I cannot. I can't. How could it––_I can't stop crying._

Please come back.

* * *

_.-.A few months later.-._

**Sasuke's Diary**

_-no entry-_

* * *

**Sakura's Diary**

Thank you, for setting me free.

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